Massage Therapy

The weekend before Thanksgiving I attended a conference, Onething, put on by IHOP-KC in Raleigh/Durham. This is the second year I've attend the conference and it was just as impact full.
During the Saturday morning session, while worshiping, they challenged us to pray. Pray for healing, pray for power, pray for our pastors, youth groups, high schools and middle schools. I was standing there barely moving because my back hurt so much. On the way up I had slept in the car, seemingly it was just the added stress my back needed for a large section to be strained too far. I was just on a plane a week before and knew that I needed my back messaged bad, but had pushed through.. So I decided to talk to God about the pain in my back and the amazing thing is it went away! Of course I tried to act like everything was the same and stealthily moved around checking out my back, but while I was doing this I knew it was ridiculous. So I'm standing there moving ever so slightly and God says, "I love you. You are my daughter and I don't want you to be in pain ..... You need to start taking care of yourself.", and the pain came back. Very funny God.

It's so true though. I have several friends who are wonderfully skilled at massages, one even is a masseuse, and yet when I actually needed my back worked out I choose to pretend like everything was okay, simply because I didn't want them to know I was in pain. I was choosing my pride over my well-being. How stupid is that?
God knew that if He took my pain away I would never humble myself. And still, with being called out by God himself, it took me over a week to ask someone to help me. Last night I finally broke down and asked my brother.
While I was laying there he painfully worked on my back I realized how prideful I had been ... wanting people to think I never deal with pain. Pride, it's a huge hindrance, and sometimes it's in the seemingly small things that it can hurt you the most, where just a small amount of humility can take you so far. I'm trying to walk this out; right now it seems I need to do this by asking for some back massages. Talk about message therapy for my soul :)

My Mike

It occurred to me last night that I probably should talk about my life more than the tiny excerpts that I rarely inform yall of, like a general aspect of my life so you actually know where I am and what I'm doing.
Well I have currently been back in Greenville for almost 3 months, just spending time with my family and friends. These few months have been amazing; being able to reconnect with my mom and best friends has truly been a blessing.
You may have noticed, but only if you read my last post, that I was just in Oregon. In fact I was there for two awesome weeks visiting my boyfriend. We just hit our three months a couple days ago and things have been amazing. Yes, it has been super hard dating someone on the opposite coast, but we both feel like God planed this so that we could work kinks out, grow and make sure we wanted to be together.

Well, let me tell you some things about him:

He is 6' 2",

Italian,

and a YWAMer.

We meet this summer in Haiti; he was the national director for Mission Adventures in Haiti and I came along as a staff member for a little bit. During that time I got to see his relationship with God. There is something different about being on outreach; the lack of food, sleep, cleanliness, organization, and security, reveals to others how dependent you are on Christ. And what I saw in him made me admire and respect him. 

I believe that the man should lead the relationship, should drive them both toward God and desire to spend more time with Him and be more like Him .... and Mike does that. 

Nutmeg

Though I do not like the weather aspect of the winter I do love the seasonal food and drinks. There is almost nothing better to me than to walk inside from the cold to a warm house that smells like fresh bread and a hot drink!

Anyways, fall is here and even though I wasn't ready for summer to end, I have resigned myself to enjoy the weather, even if I am freezing and wet. Being in Oregon for their fall means you have to 'jump in the river to dry off' as someone here put it, but when the sun comes out it is truly a beautiful place.
The cafe here on the YWAM base just announced yesterday at lunch that they are now proudly serving eggnog lattes; this might have slightly raised my spirits.

Here are some seasonal tips I have picked up here in Oregon:
- Always carry a compass with you (no matter how far away something is they always tell you it "blank miles southwest of here" ... even if it's around the corner)
- Don't buy tea, carry a tea bag around with you (most places with give you a cup of hot water, cream and sugar for free)
- Wear your rain boots and swimsuit everywhere, you might have to swim to your car
- After hitting up the Starbucks for an Eggnog latte, head down to one of the eight coffee houses on the street for a Pumpkin spice latte, then head on to the next one for a cup of Thanksgiving blend coffee and so on
- If it's sunny don't expect it to be much longer

Excerpt from my journal

Written at the JFK airport while waiting for our connecting flight to Morocco - July 22, 10

"Already God is showing me He is in the trip. Today has been very long and personally I don't like flying, but once we got to JFK God started showing me He loves me through some very simple things.
First off, I got an orange; I've been wanting one since Haiti so finding a navel orange in my terminal was a big deal. It might seem trivial, but it's the little things that bring joy to my heart.
Second, I've already gotten to pray for someone here in the airport! He is a Christian and God used him to get me excited about sharing the gospel with Muslims. I prayed for him as he rushed back to work after talking with me for several minutes.
Thirdly, a member on my team was randomly approached by an Arab who seemed to miss her daughter and wanted to talk to someone the same age. This was a big encouragement for my team member, especially since this is her first mission trip and she has been worried about making connections with the people in Morocco. It was like God was saying "Look I'm taking you to Morocco because I know there are people there who are just waiting to have a conversation with you."

Anyway I am now officially excited about this trip. "

Indiscreet in Morocco

This summer I went with a group to Morocco for two weeks. Here are some quick facts about Morocco (so you can get an idea of what we prepped ourselves for):

Location: North Africa (literally a ferry ride away from Spain)

Language: Arabic, French

Religion: Islam, less than 1% is Christian and less than .2% is Jewish

Largest City: Casablanca

- As of May '10 at least 60 Christian workers were deported - more here

- Bibles are legally allowed to be imported but the government confiscates most Arabic bibles

- It is illegal to proselytize (to induce someone to convert to one's religious faith)

We went into a country were what we were aiming to do was illegal. This meant that we couldn't run VBS's for children, share our testimonies, or offer prayer to people on the streets; all very common and effective tools to share Jesus with people. So we abide by the law and didn't share our faith with people, but rather walked around praying for the cities and doing acts of kindness.
In Casablanca we stayed right near several flower shops and we bought flowers to hand out to women and children. You should have seen the faces of those women, they loved their flowers. In Marrakesh we bought water to hand out, since it was extremely hot, at least for us, to the beggars. 

What they saw were Americans extending a hand of love to them, people who were ignored by tourist and their fellow country men. Honestly I know that through these two small acts, giving out flowers and water, we made a difference in lives of multiple Moroccans and helped the students in our group understand that God can use them to make impact lives even in a place where we could be thrown in jail for sharing their faith.

The Hospital - Haiti

Several days while in Haiti we took teams to the general hospital for them to pray with patients. At first we were a little hesitant about taking students to the general hospital because of the lack of proper precaution enforced, but after the first trip we decided to trust the Lord with all of that. Here we have a group praying with a TB patient who, from all we were able to gather, was not receiving proper treatment.


Since the earthquake had damaged the infrastructure of all of the buildings everything had been moved outside to tents pitched in the parking lots.  Most patients were set up in tents just like the TB patients.

On a separate trip the students prayed for people all over the hospital grounds. I stayed behind at the base that day so that I could help prepare lunch. The students told me they had an amazing time praying for people and had even seen a few miracles while they were there. 
The following day we went back with bag lunches to hand out, unless a patient had someone bring them food they didn't eat while they were there and we wanted to bless these patients.  As I lead a group of the students around handing our bag lunches very discreetly, so as not to get mobbed, God taught me something very valuable. I had been rather upset about staying back the previous day, but as I watched the students interacting with the very patients they had seen the day before, God showed me that my sacrifice of not going out had enabled these students to reach out to the Haitian people and bring healing. I had multiple students come up to me super excited because the person they had prayed for the previous day was now better. They were able to see with their own eyes that God had moved through them and brought healing. That God loved the Haitian people and wanted to us them, a 15 year old from North Dakota, to show them His love.


God gave me the realization that even working in a dirty, ill lit, roach infested kitchen can change they world ... that brings great joy to my heart.

One of the children we gave a bag lunch.

Passion for Good Deeds

"Christ did not die to make good works merely possible or to produce a half-hearted pursuit. He died to produce in us a passion for good deeds. Christian purity is not the mere avoidance of evil, but the pursuit of good." 

- John Piper

I'm hitting a John Piper kick once more.

I have always loved learning and I believe that those even outside of school should be striving to learn more. As the disciples themselves did, we should devote ourselves to fellowship, breaking of bread, the study of the Word and prayer. Honestly I am a nerd, half of my 'perfect day' would be spent curled up reading somewhere. I love the knowledge that can come from a book, especially when it is in reference with the bible and God. I get a ton out of novel, but at the same time I like very detailed studies on the Word.

Right now I'm starting a study on Hebrews by John Piper, so be expecting some tid bits on what I learn.

Drained

One night in Haiti we had a teaching on passion. We split into groups and discussed where it comes from, why people get burned out in the areas they are passionate in, and how to not become burned out. My group agreed that people become burned out because they lean on their own strength and enjoyment when we should rely on God for strength and His glory for our enjoyment.
I believe that when we depend on our own strength and things get hard, we usually have no reason to push forward and therefor become frustrated and burned out. But when we are depending on God’s strength and doing everything for His glory we aren’t factoring our enjoyment/how easy something is into whether we press forward, instead we focus on the fact that when we do something simply because God has given us the gift and we want to use it for Him, we can sometimes feel His pleasure in walking out in it. To quote Eric Liddle, “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure”. Our purpose is to worship Him, but He has given us passions to walk out while we are here.

Two days ago I flew in from Haiti. Since then I have mainly slept and caught up with family and friends and I am extremely exhausted. Honestly I don’t understand why I feel so tired, but I keep thinking about Haiti and how little sleep I got, how often I went all day on pb&js, would spend half the day in blistering heat and yet I was never exhausted. I was very tired, but I still had strength and energy to everything I needed to. I was the appointed photographer for the group I helped lead down there, this role carried over after they left, and there were a couple times when I wasn’t thrilled about hauling my camera along with me, but for the most part I was very excited.
Anyways, my point is that since getting back from Haiti I now can feel how much the trip wore on me physically, spiritually and emotionally. Too me the crazy thing is that God gave me so much energy while I was there in Haiti, while I was walking out in the passion He has given me, to the point that I didn’t even realize how much I was putting into my time there. Talk about God keeping me under His wing.

Discipleship

The devastation here is unbelievable. And the problem didn’t start with the earthquake. The mindset of the Haitians is so different than Americans. Most of them just simply want to leave, yes they care about their families, but besides that they want to cut ties with Haiti. When the earthquake hit it gave Haiti a new beginning because all of a sudden the world cared, but even with all the help, food, supplies, and water that has been given the nation is still in a horrible state. Many of the YWAM Port au Prince and St. Marc leaders believe the condition of the nation hasn’t changed because there hasn’t been any discipleship; food and water are always given, wells are even dug, but the people don’t know how to maintain anything.
Right now the YWAM bases are working on teaching the people in tent cities irrigation techniques and how to maintain a house (which we will HELP them build). There is a need, but first there needs to be action on their part. A mind set needs to be changed, before Haiti can move forward.
Millions of dollars have been thrown at Haiti since January and when I drive the streets here there is no sign of it.

Politik

Look at earth from outer space

Everyone must find a place

Give me time and give me space

Give me real, don't give me fake

Give me strength, reserve control

Give me heart and give me soul

Give me time, give us a kiss

Tell me your own politik

Open up your eyes

Open up your eyes

Open up your eyes

Just open up your eyes

Give me one, cause one is best

In confusion, confidence

Give me piece of mind and trust

Don't forget the rest of us

Give me strength, reserve control

Give me heart and give me soul

Wounds that heal and cracks that fix

Tell me your own politik

Open up your eyes

Open up your eyes

Open up your eyes

Just open up your eyes

And give me love over, love over, love over this, ahhh

And give me love over, love over, love over this, ahhh

Today I taught the team I am helping lead to Haiti a drama put to this song. During my DTS, three years ago, Chad came up with the idea and a couple of us put the whole thing together. The entire song is mouthed as a dialoge between God, satan and man.

I have color coded the lyrics to help yall out.
Bold font = God
Normal font = Man
Red font = satan

I love this drama and not only because my DTS made it but because it depicts our will as humans to be strong without God, the destruction that it leads to and Gods undying love for us. I also have never seen one done quit like this. And it's to a Coldplay song ... can't get much better.
When I showed the group a video of this drama, as preparation, one of the comments was "this makes me want to cry", because it portrays God's love and our true desperation for Him so clearly.

I'll leave you with this: God is singing to you, asking for your love.

Bowling Shoes

Recently I came to the realization that I needed to let go of “home” and of course this revelation came while I was sitting on a bathroom floor staring at a pair of bowling shoes.

As part of Youth Department training we had some required fun activities; we called them “forced fun” times. Last Saturday was one of these times. All 18 of us went bowling in the morning and then went over to a house to watch a World Cup game. Somewhere in between frame 4 and 5 of the first game I ended up running to the bathroom, trying to keep myself from sobbing.
Being here in Orlando without my family and friends has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. For once in my life I actually have healthy relationship with my sister, my mom and I are closer than ever, and I have a lot friends who have made it past all my barriers. Unfortunately every single one of these people live in Greenville, North Carolina.  With Saturday being my sisters graduation I already had a bad case of “it” aka homesickness, but adding in the bowling alley knocked me off the edge.

To give a little insight: As a kid my dad would take my sister and I bowling rather frequently. He was on several leagues and loved to bowl and we loved the fact that there was also an arcade there. Since his death I’ve been bowling maybe three times …. and never outside Greenville.

Being homesick is a weird thing. Everything reminds you of home. Food, smells, clothing. Or the lack of them makes you realize how much you appreciate. Before moving to Florida three months ago I had never experienced this.

Sitting on that bathroom floor I stared at my shoes. These shoes that hold so many memories in my mind. My sister and I trying our hardest to use correct technique, running around in the arcade, and attacking a plates of chili cheese fries. That is home for me. And sadly enough I need to learn how to make new memories. Not to let go of any, but to be able to move forward in life. I don’t know how to explain this, but the realization that I was holding on, rather tightly, to home hit me while I sat there. A practical way to start walking this out came to mind: my name.
Since being here I have been very adimit about the fact that I want to be called Ireland, not Rebekah, Beckie,  or Beccah. Yes, part of it is because there is another Rebecca here and I don’t like people to shorten my name. But when people have called me by my first name I have offended and upset, much more then I should have been. It is because I was associating my name with home. Every time someone called me by my first name it reminded me of home and because I wasn’t letting go, it would hurt. Sitting on that dirty tiled floor I decided to let go. It was just a thought, a simple choice, but it made a difference. I’m moving forward now.

Funny how much a pair of bowling shoes could change my life.

I'm boring

Listening to this reminds me of how joyful and fun being inGods presence is.

Sadly I lose sight of that sometimes. To quote Corey Russell "God isn't boring, you are boring". Time spent with God will be whatever we allow it to be.

International Night

I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many people crammed into K2 (we nickname all the houses). International Night was a time for all of us to come together and celebrate our nationalities with food.

I personally decided to contribute sweet tea to the menu; I thought about mashed potatoes but decided to go with something a little easier to make. And Im glad I did since no one else thought to bring a drink.

There were people there representing tons of countries: Nigeria, Sweden, Japan, Egypt, Canada, Russia, Dominican Republic, and Switzerland and others I can’t remember.

What I loved the most, of all the food, was the borsch. I don’t know who even brought it, but being able to have a bowl of beet soup was surprisingly very satisfying. Oddly enough I think I had borsch only twice in Russia.

to the left: Ibrahim (Nigeria), Theresa (Sweden),and  Keturah (Japan)

to the right: Patrick (one of the DTS students this quarter) eating borsch.

Shredded

Miami traffic is ridiculous.One morning we went to a campus twenty minutes aways and it took us a little over an hour to get there. I could never live there.

On the way back to the church that same day we all heard something “hit” the van. Shortly after most of us were thinking that Brenden was a bad driver, because he was swerving so much. Then our tire popped.   Seems up untill that moment he himself was thinking that the wind was super strong, because he was having a hard time keeping us straight. I have to say I’m very proud of how smoothly Brenden got us out of traffic and onto the medium.Personally I don’t think I’ve ever seen a tire so shredded. I even grabbed one of the many pieces to put in my scrap book …. haha.Probably the most annoying part of breaking down in the middle of the highway was that there wasn’t anywhere to sit. Yes it was hot, humid, bright, loud and we didn’t have water, but no one really complained.

to the right: Chad and I waiting to get back in the van.

While out there one of the only things I could think about was my camera, which was not with me  , and how cool it would be to do a photo shoot there. There was a ton of traffic flying by at such high speeds I felt like it would make for great contrast.

Funny, Neva was the only one who thought smiling wasn’t appropriate for being broken down in the middle of Miami.

Thankfully Aaron and Lee knew how to change a tire. Though it did take them a little while to find the spare, which was hooked underneath the van. Turned out the spare tire in the van went to the trailer.

Lesson learned: When a loud noise is followed by swerving, there is probably a flat tire involved and some quality time on the interstate.

Rainy Day

The sky is falling

Dropping as little stars

taking over every leaf and stone

and crawling like darkness into my being

Shivering, I turn my face upward

dropping little tears down and

asking the cool to crawl within me

Thunder rolls answering

as the stars envelope me

I can not explain to you how refreshing and soothing a rainy day is. I’ve been asking God for one and here it is
Right now I am soaked to the bone, wrapped in a towel, sitting on the couch in the back room, sipping on Russian tea and reading “Funding You Ministry” (not exactly my prime choice but I have to have it read in less than 3 weeks). My house is almost empty right now, kinda weird since eleven people live here, and the thunder is softly reminding me of how beautiful today is.





This morning I had my prayer shift outside and then went for a bike ride …. it was wonderfully sunny. This is the beauty of Florida weather.

Welcome to Miami

A lot of people will think of Will Smiths single ”Miami”, released back in 1998, when they read Miami. Sadly I had never even heard of this song until someone started singing it when I mentioned I was going.
I had never been to Miami and truthfully had no clue what to expect, besides a party town. Now that I have been I can actually agree with this statement, but at the same time there is so much more to Miami. Weirdly enough Will Smiths song does hint at what it is like -

“…Can y’all feel me, all ages and races

Real sweet faces

Every different nation, Spanish, Hatian, Indian, Jamaican

Black, White, Cuban, and Asian…”

I can’t tell you how odd it was to be in such a cultural place. At one of the campus’ we would go to in the mornings I seriously would be the only white person in sight; and it was so neat! There were Haitians, Jamaicans, Hispanics, Blacks, Asians, and Cubans. Seeing all of the culture mix together on a campus was very beautiful.
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“Party in the city where the heat is on
All night, on the beach till the break of dawn
Welcome to Miami”

One night we went to South Beach to talk to people. My partner and I went to Starbucks first (my first and only time in Miami) and then started walking. The first couple we approached couldn’t speak any English, fail, so we kept walking and being amazed by how cool all the shops and restaurants were.  We ended walking over to this guy, Dave, and praying with him for quit some time. He was in the process of acquiring housing there and was making money by selling palm branch creations to tourist. Praying with him was such a blessing; not only did he come away blessed but we did as well. And he gave both of us some creations 
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“Yo I heard the rainstorms ain’t nothin to mess with”

I first night in Miami it POURED.

Mochi

Today we went to the Farmers Market.  We went and no one else was there (a bad source told us it was on Saturday when in real life it’s on Sunday). So we ended up walking around Lake Eola. Coming from a place where you have to go to River Park North to see geese, I was in complete awe. I don’t think I’ve ever been so close to swans! Sadly enough it seemed that I was the only one interested in trying to pet one so I had to run catch up with everyone instead.

Someday I will go back and this time I’ll have my camera (no, none of these photos are mine) and people who will wait (even if I have to force them) By the way, this ties into this past weeks teachings. We watched the Passion videos by Floydd McClung, which focused on passion. For small group this past week we incorporated the teaching and asked God to give us something to encourage someone else in their passions. Part of my encouragement was, “God has created you to capture the beauty others can’t see”. This is the second time this has been actually spoken over me, among the many times people comment on it. Well this afternoon made me think about this word.

We did end up at the Flea Market for a bit, though it wasn’t appreciated and we left.
Fact: I love flea markets. I like making a day of it. Wake up early, spend several hours roaming the market, grab lunch at a local cafe or deli and then walk around downtown – that’s a wonderful day to me. Course I would only do this maybe once a month.

Back to my day; after dinner we decided to try to new frozen yogurt place right next to the new theater. Mochi Frozen Yogurt = Amazingness. And yall know I’m not big on sweets. It’s a self serve place where you are charged per ounce, so you control how much it will cost you. And half of the toppings they have are fruit! I ended up with Taro and Kiwi yogurt with kiwi, mango and strawberry toppings.

It was a good day.
Got to know some people a little better and see beautiful things .

Closer than the skin on my bones

It's like he is singing what my soul cries out to Him.

Cherry Scented

The markers in the prayer room here are scented :D

Ireland Appreciation Day

Honestly I didn’t know how to handle myself all day Wednesday. This photo here was taken at the end of class  … I may have started talking by then, but not really sure about that. Let me break the day down for ya:

That morning I decided to sleep in till 7:20am (I usually get up at at 6:30am), rolled out of bed showered,, eat breakfast, and walked to class. Now typically I drive to school with my roommates, but that morning Neva (her car) told me she had a one-on-one before class so she had to leave earlier and we, Nicole and I, needed to either walk or ride with one of the staff in our house. Nicole rode with someone on staff and I walked. It was a wonderful walk; I was finally able to buy some rechargeable batteries so I listened to my “Power” mix  Unfortunately because I walked I didn’t have as much time to get ready so I had just thrown on shorts and a tank (for those of you back home you know I never dress like that).
Anyway, I walked into class and everyone started screaming.
This is what went through my head:
Why is everyone yelling? Am I late? wow Im the last one. I never liked it when people yell at the last one to class. Wait I’m here early why am I the last one. Was that purple in their hair? Everyone is staring at me. I am so confused.  Hmm they have a pink streak in their hair. Hey there is Starbucks in front of my seat.  And there are purple and blue cupcakes. I can’t get my jacket off.  Everyone is still looking at me. Someone else has color in their hair. Oh there is a little sign thing next to the cupcakes saying “Appreciation of Ireland Day .. You Are Aweesome!” wait …. whats going on??????????
After several minutes I had gotten my jacket off, seated myself and was … . speechless.
They then went around and told me how they appreciate me and then prayed for me. They even put signs all over the place so no one could not know.

I still don’t know why this happened, but it was encouraging and well maybe it was just what I needed, to truly know that all of them love me.

And thankfuly I was able to go home durring a break and change into something more me 

MewithoutYou

Most of you know that I am very peculiar about music. A huge part of my taste and high appreciation can be attributed to being in several bands back in high school and hanging out with all the guys who had rather high standards themselves and wrote music. So know that when people have good taste in music, in my opinion, I am very happy.

Today we had a Community Responsibilities (we all take care of the bass to not only keep it clean and organized, but to build character) meeting. Since this week they will be deciding what CRs to give each of us they asked for volunteers to cover the things that had to be done. I volunteered for cleaning today and Thursday. As it turned out, I got to help finish cleaning Shriver, one of the 15 houses. Caitlyn and Lee, both in my school, also had the job as well.
I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed cleaning so much! This was the first time Caitlyn, Lee and I had really interacting (duh being the first day and all) and we just hit it off.
First of all, we made a great team for cleaning. Easily divided the jobs up, encouraged each other and just worked very well together.
Secondly, Lee has great taste in music. He had his laptop on him, so we set it up in the kitchen while we cleaned. Not only does he listen to stuff like Mewithoutyou and For Todayand , but he also knows who Sons of God and John Mark McMillan (we listened to Skeleton Bones!!) are! I had a field day.

Just a reminder of how much Jesus loves me, because He knows that something as simple as listening to “Skeleton Bones” while cleaning out a fridge and laughing with new friends will make my day :)

Nervous Ride

I’m a pretty calm person; a lot of things just don’t phase me. This is something that friends point out because stuff like, a friend gets in a car accident and ends up in the hospital and I’m still calm. I am emotional, just don’t express my emotions exuberantly, though this has slowly been changing since my baptism.
Right now though I truly feel emotionless. Earlier right before heading down I was nervous and I actually prefer that.

I’m not excited about SOMD.
I don’t know what to do with myself.
I even saw one of my best friends and barely even smiled.

It’s a weird feeling … to not feel anything.

….

I just got back from church. During my DTS I attended the service on Sunday nights that Status offers for college students and I loved it. Well tonight I rode with Chad and some others out there hoping for something … anything. And I got what I wanted. As soon as the worship started thankfulness and … amazement of the glory of the Lord hit me. and of course they decided to play “How He Loves” next which just brought to focus how muchHe loves me (duh).
Now I rarely go to my knees during worship, totally more of a raise my hands, jump around kind of person, but the more we sang about His love the further I wish I could put myself. I probably would have dug a hole if I hadn’t been inside. And I cried … just a little, but still a big deal for me.
It was really good.

Trying to Move Forward

Being back in a place I considered home several years ago is really weird. Almost everything has changed; the people, the base (the church has been painted), the process of registration, the house flooring (now tile opposed to carpet) and the office (there is more than one now!).

At times today it’s been very overwhelming.
Seeing people I know, but no longer feeling like I connect with them (totally a lie straight from satan) and wanting to withdraw for safety (which really isn’t safe at all … it only sounds good), but I held onto God’s promise that I am a new creation and that satan is a liar.
So I took steps.
Literally I had to force myself to take several steps today and they were al worth it. I’ve meet some amazing people and am really excited about getting to know all of them over the next few months. Yes things are different, but when you move forward in life things will change whether you like it or not. And God will take these things and make them work for your good and His glory.

God Likes to Surprise His Children

Tonight I was talking with some of the girls I’m staying with and when I finally made it back to my work and checked my phone for the time, I found I had several text from my Uncle Kenny.
Now I have almost never kept up with anyone beyond immediately family and even with them I can be rather bad. Sending my support letter to some of the extended family was a whim; my mom mentioned it and since I still needed more support and already had letters made up I just went with her idea, but wasn’t really expecting much to come out of it.

The text from my uncle said:
“I think it’s awesome what you are doing. I’m sending a donation through paypal. Hope it helps. Just know you’re thought of often, love and prayers, your uncle and aunt.”

I almost cried. How could someone who I never even talk to care so much about me?!

Perfect example: God. He even died for MY sins when I ignored Him and bashed His name.

Wow, I loving seeing the Lord in other people :)

Joy

"I've got the joy

I've got the joy

I've got the joy

The world can't give it,

the world can't take it away

We sing in jubilation

Adoration to a joyful King

You spinning, You singing zealous love over all Your children"

hmm a little different for 10am morning prayer at IHOP, but I LOVE it, because it is true!

New Foundations

Hopefully everyone knows of the earthquake that hit Haiti back in January. Occasionally I've overheard people say that "God made it happen" and I haven't agreed. I don't feel like I will ever be able to say that the Lord made something horrible happen, though surely He can, but I do know that He uses everything for the good of His people and can bring glory to His name from anything the enemy does if we let Him.

I have a friend that has been in Haiti since the beginning of February. And what amazes me the most from what he tells me is how the people of Haiti are repenting of their sins and turning to God. Everyone "speaks of God shaking the foundation of Haiti, so that Haiti can have a new foundation."

The word that God has given many for Haiti right now is "New Foundations". God is doing something new in Haiti, and the Haitians are actually responding in the biblical way! Instead of cellebrating Mardi Gras the nation of Haiti called 3 days of repentance, prayer and fasting. There was worship and prayer in the streets!! I'm excited for the people of Haiti.
I believe a lot of people are focusing on Haiti's past, why the earthquake happened and not on the present, how the people of Haiti are turning to the Lord and rebuilding their nation starting with the foundation of Christ.

YWAM Orlando - Haiti Blog

Crazy Emotions

So right now I’m sitting here watching “The taking of Pelham 123″, munching on cauliflower and crackers, drinking Sleepy Time tea, kinda editing photos and trying not to think about everything I should be doing.

Recently I’ve become very … emotional, as my mom puts it. I don’t know if I agree with her, but at the same time I know I’m really easy to penetrate right now. Especially since my baptism.

I always heard people say they felt different after they were baptized, but it isn’t something you can prepare for … because you truly are a new person. I feel clean, refreshed, and strong. It’s the little things that are really astounding me. Things that use to put fear in me.
Like confrontation; I use to avoid it at all cost, especially when I wasn’t required as a “leader” to do anything. This is the change that brings me the most joy, because it is helping me not hold grudges, to get things in the open, to resolve stuff, and move forward. There isn’t the fear of rejection/worry that they will hate me anymore.
Also, comforting people. I hated when people cried on me. I never knew what to do and definitely did not want to touch anyone at all. There was too much awkwardness and I was never quite sure what to “do” next.  And somehow it doesn’t bother me anymore. I think this is the thing that others see the most, because it is rubbing off on my anti-touchiness, some.

Thursday I about wept during VCM. Friday night I mourned over those partying downtown. Today when people stood up at church declaring that they were taking God up on their do-overs I got teary eyed. Tonight when my youth group surprised me with an party I had to hold myself together. Honestly it’s getting to be a little too much. I know Baptism is a second birth, but did I really have to become this emotional?! I might as well carry tissues around on my wrist.
 Ridiculous.