Nervous Ride

I’m a pretty calm person; a lot of things just don’t phase me. This is something that friends point out because stuff like, a friend gets in a car accident and ends up in the hospital and I’m still calm. I am emotional, just don’t express my emotions exuberantly, though this has slowly been changing since my baptism.
Right now though I truly feel emotionless. Earlier right before heading down I was nervous and I actually prefer that.

I’m not excited about SOMD.
I don’t know what to do with myself.
I even saw one of my best friends and barely even smiled.

It’s a weird feeling … to not feel anything.

….

I just got back from church. During my DTS I attended the service on Sunday nights that Status offers for college students and I loved it. Well tonight I rode with Chad and some others out there hoping for something … anything. And I got what I wanted. As soon as the worship started thankfulness and … amazement of the glory of the Lord hit me. and of course they decided to play “How He Loves” next which just brought to focus how muchHe loves me (duh).
Now I rarely go to my knees during worship, totally more of a raise my hands, jump around kind of person, but the more we sang about His love the further I wish I could put myself. I probably would have dug a hole if I hadn’t been inside. And I cried … just a little, but still a big deal for me.
It was really good.