Crazy Emotions

So right now I’m sitting here watching “The taking of Pelham 123″, munching on cauliflower and crackers, drinking Sleepy Time tea, kinda editing photos and trying not to think about everything I should be doing.

Recently I’ve become very … emotional, as my mom puts it. I don’t know if I agree with her, but at the same time I know I’m really easy to penetrate right now. Especially since my baptism.

I always heard people say they felt different after they were baptized, but it isn’t something you can prepare for … because you truly are a new person. I feel clean, refreshed, and strong. It’s the little things that are really astounding me. Things that use to put fear in me.
Like confrontation; I use to avoid it at all cost, especially when I wasn’t required as a “leader” to do anything. This is the change that brings me the most joy, because it is helping me not hold grudges, to get things in the open, to resolve stuff, and move forward. There isn’t the fear of rejection/worry that they will hate me anymore.
Also, comforting people. I hated when people cried on me. I never knew what to do and definitely did not want to touch anyone at all. There was too much awkwardness and I was never quite sure what to “do” next.  And somehow it doesn’t bother me anymore. I think this is the thing that others see the most, because it is rubbing off on my anti-touchiness, some.

Thursday I about wept during VCM. Friday night I mourned over those partying downtown. Today when people stood up at church declaring that they were taking God up on their do-overs I got teary eyed. Tonight when my youth group surprised me with an party I had to hold myself together. Honestly it’s getting to be a little too much. I know Baptism is a second birth, but did I really have to become this emotional?! I might as well carry tissues around on my wrist.
 Ridiculous.