Frugal Grasp

How do you hold on?
Gripping fingers rarely work
Knotted ties always slip
Why do you try?

I grasp my fingers around this life
Hoping in solitude my frugal efforts thrive
Digging nails into my palm
Nothing can leave without my word

Reports of betrayal hit my tender skin
None realize what assumptions layout
My fingers itch to let loose
Words in ear say many think other then truth

Why does lack of laughter cause remorse?

The phone lies silent after many tries
The lack of each cut deep
Scaring knuckles, losing grip
When will things turn back to good?

Meaningless repentance
Forgotten forgiveness
Sucking the only thrive I have

How can this last?
Why do I even try?

They continue in arrogance towards pain
Needs may be the repulse
Lack of providence turn away
Am I a burden to bare?

When treats and shows are provided by none
But blessings come from giving a hand onto
Trying, striving, longing to repay
My fingers ache to stretch free

May I grant this pleasurable death?

Palm clams up
Slips unnoticably still
Looks are decieving to most
Maybe I am one